


Sam Rockwell Characters Christmas Drabbles

by rockwell_psycho



Category: Choke (2008), Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005), Iron Man (Movies), Seven Psychopaths (2012), Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri (2017)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Comfort, Drabble, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, Light Angst, Loneliness, Making Out, Mild Smut, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-21 02:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17034998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockwell_psycho/pseuds/rockwell_psycho
Summary: Drabble requests from my tumblr. I used this prompt list for requests:https://vampiricallyinclined.tumblr.com/post/167696802748/festive-prompt-list





	1. Billy Bickle

##  **_Billy Bickle_** _\+ 4. **“If I hear one more Mariah Carey song I will riot”**  and 5.  **“Remind me why I can’t kill the carolers?”**_

_677 words, no warnings, just fluff with a bit of making out. Gif by me :)_

Humming along to a cheerful tune from the radio, you put another toy on your Christmas tree, nodded contently and reached out for another one. You loved this time of year. Dressing a Christmas tree was one of your favorite things about it. Of course you needed a holiday soundtrack on the background, and you didn’t care how cheesy it may seem - you just enjoyed it.

Unlike you, Billy didn’t look that amused as he was fighting with the Christmas lights set, trying hard to untangle it for a few minutes already. But even his grumpy attitude couldn’t spoil your mood.

You took a big golden star from the box of toys and got on the stool to set it on top of the tree.

\- Isn’t it nice? - You asked cheerfully. - Are you feeling Christmas vibes already, Billy?

\- Um, not really, babe. I think it’s a goddamn sailor knot right here, - he approached, showing you a tangle of long-suffering lights, - Plus your music doesn’t help much. Seriously,  ** _i_** _ **f I hear one more Mariah Carey song I will riot.**_

\- Oh really? Riot? - You smirked at him cocking an eyebrow, - like how, I wonder?

\- You wanna know? - He chuckled wickedly, and before you could answer, Billy made one more step closer and all of a sudden grabbed you in his arms.

\- Billy! - you squealed, gripping onto his shoulders and wrapping your legs around him instinctively, as you didn’t want to fall down. He held you pretty tightly though.

\- Put me back! I haven’t finished yet! - You protested.

\- Nah. Rrrrrriot! - He made, grinning like a Cheshire cat, and squeezed your backside with his hands, heading to the couch.

You tumbled down together, laughing, and then he kissed you the way only he could do. Billy’s kiss was rough and demanding, yet so deliciously sweet that made you weak in the knees. You wondered if you could ever get enough of these kisses, his soft lips and warm tongue, those pleasurable humming sounds he made against your mouth, his gentle fingers brushing against your cheek and the side of your neck… Caressing the back of his head, you let yourself melt into this kiss completely. The Christmas tree could wait, after all…

Billy switched from your lips to your neck, kissing and nibbling on your tender flesh softly, just the way you liked it the most, and your hands already started unbuttoning his shirt when you heard the doorbell ringing. You ignored it at first, but there was definitely someone quite persistent at your door.

\- Hey, we should open, I guess… - you mumbled in a shaky voice.

\- Oh shoot, - Billy growled into the crook of your neck. - Do we really have to…

\- Yep, - you gently pushed him away a bit. - We do. I’ll open…

\- No-no-no, you stay here… and think about sexy stuff, - Billy winked, getting on his feet. - I’ll be right back.

As he left, you could hear the door opening, and then you registered someone singing.

\- Honey! - You heard Billy yelling.

\- What?

-  _ **Remind me**_  onceagain, **_why I can’t kill the carolers?_**

 _-_ Because it’s illegal, baby! - You yelled back in a serious tone, suppressing a giggle.

There was a moment of silence before the door closed and soon you saw Billy entering the room again.

\- I think I scared them a little bit, - he said with his most innocent smile, hovering over you again.

\- You’re a nasty boy, Billy Bickle, do you know that? - You smirked, stroking the sides of his neck.

\- I guess I am, - he chuckled, mischievous sparkles playing in his green eyes, - But hey… I’m getting my early Christmas present anyway, am I?

\- Maybe, - you smiled, pulling him into a kiss again. - If I’m getting mine first.

\- Deal.

Yes, the Christmas tree could definitely wait for a couple hours more…


	2. Jason Dixon

##  _**Jason Dixon** \+ 13. **“You didn’t really think I’d let you spend Christmas alone, did you?”**_

_955 words, slightly angsty fluff, no warnings. Set after the movie events, so Jason has scars on his face. ~~Sorry for being a bit cheesy.~~  Gif by me._

You watched Jason Dixon getting ready for a night shift. As much as you enjoyed the sight of him in his uniform, you couldn’t help but feeling slightly upset.

\- Okay, I’m off, - Dixon finished with his shoelaces and straightened himself. Sighing deeply, you approached him and placed your hands on Jason’s shoulders, looking into his eyes.

\- It’s still very sad that you have to go to work instead of joining me… - You said. It was Christmas and you planned to spend it in a quiet and cozy way with your relatives, and Jason was also invited. But… Oh well.

\- Sorry, babe… - he replied quietly, reaching out to stroke your cheek, - But.. I’ve been given a second chance, right? I’m not gonna fuck it up this time… And anyway, someone has to do it. Other cops have families, kids and stuff… You know.

His look was soft and a bit guilty.

\- Yes, I know, - you smiled and placed a tender kiss on the tip of his nose. - And actually… I’m really proud of you, officer.

Smiling crookedly, he kissed your forehead.

\- Have fun, okay?

***

To be completely honest, sometimes you thought that after getting his job back, Jason started to take it a bit too seriously at times. But you could understand that. He’s been through some really hard stuff and starting over again wasn’t quite easy, but he appreciated this chance a lot. He also probably didn’t want to disappoint chief Willoughby even after his death. You knew this loss still hurt Jason, but the thought that he was doing something that would make the chief proud kinda helped.

You realized as well, that maybe it was just easier for him to spend Christmas at work just because he still didn’t feel very comfortable about his look. Even though his scars looked now way better than after the incident, Jason wasn’t a fan of being in public. Even if it was just a cozy dinner with some of your closest relatives. And basically Jason wasn’t a very open person. He needed time to get used to your relationship, and you tried your best to be patient with him.

But still, Jason spending Christmas like that didn’t seem right. Even if it was his choice, you knew he felt lonely right now. You could sense it for some reason. Sitting at a festive table, you couldn’t concentrate on conversations and couldn’t enjoy your favorite meals… All your thoughts were with him right now.

***

The patrolling went quite okay this night. A couple of drunken fights Jason had to deal with, a speeding ticket for a guy who was probably late for his dinner… nothing really special. In a small town like Ebbing people mostly spent Christmas at home with families. Around midnight Dixon was on his way to the police station. There was some paper work he planned to finish tonight.

The station looked lonely and abandoned… Or maybe it was just the feeling Dixon had? He shook his head. No, it was definitely better than going out. He wasn’t ready for that yet. He felt bad about making you sad, but he was sure you understand.  _“Someone has to do it anyway”_ , - he repeated to himself. Approaching his table, Jason switched on a table lamp. He didn’t want too much light on. After a pause he decided to switch on Christmas lights hanging above the window - the police station was also decorated for holidays.  _“Merry Christmas, Jason,”_  - he whispered, chuckling bitterly.

He sat at the table and took the papers out of the drawer. Sighing, he rubbed his temples, took a pen and was about to start the report, but at this moment he suddenly heard someone knocking. Frowning, Dixon stood up and headed to the door.

***

The door opened and you met Jason’s surprised gaze.

\- Y/n… wha… what are you doing here? - He asked baffled.

-  ** _You didn’t really think I’d let you spend Christmas alone, did you?_** \- You replied beaming at him.

\- But… Your relatives…

\- Oh they are completely fine with it! - You assured. - And my mom gave us plenty of food, so… I know, you might be busy, but we could just eat together and then you can go back to work if you need to…

\- No, actually… - Jason smiled and you could swear it was the warmest smile you’ve ever seen. - My paper work can wait, I can finish it after the weekend… No one’s gonna read it now anyways, right? It’s holidays…

\- Seems legit, - you laughed.

Jason went back inside the station to turn off the lights and take his coat. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you went to his car. Suddenly a bright red light flashed in the distance.

\- Hey, look! - You exclaimed. - Someone’s making fireworks! Let’s watch a bit?

Dixon nodded. You were standing there on a quiet street in the middle of Ebbing and watched red, green and golden flashes in the night sky, and it was a moment of pure and simple happiness. You looked at Jason and reached out to kiss his cheek. And this time he didn’t even flinch at the sensation of you touching the scarred part of his skin.

\- Merry Christmas, - you whispered.

\- Merry Christmas, - he replied softly, pulling you closer into his arms, his lips gently brushing yours.

\- I love you, - you hushed before his lips captured yours in a tender kiss.

\- I love you too, - Jason smiled, breaking the kiss. - Best Christmas I had in ages.


	3. Victor Mancini

##  **_Victor Mancini_** _\+ 20. **“It looks like Santa threw up here”**_

_1637 words (OMFG), no warnings except it’s probably too soft and fluffy xD_

The hospital hall was dimly lit and unusually quiet. Victor Mancini instinctively tried to make as little noise as possible while walking along the corridor. He knew the way perfectly well as he was a pretty frequent visitor, but it was the first time he was leaving so late. Some rustling sound from the recreation room caught his attention. Through the opened door Victor saw you fumbling with a rather huge pile of Christmas decorations and a soft chuckle touched the corners of his mouth.

Victor definitely liked you. It wasn’t just plain and simple lust he got so used to. It was something more. Something he was surprised and completely not prepared to discover. He wasn’t sure what exactly attracted him to you. Maybe the fact that you weren’t an easy one to get - unlike some ladies from the hospital staff, you flatly said no to his advances. Or maybe it was your a bit sarcastic attitude, which corresponded with his own. Victor liked to talk to you. He had a feeling that you kinda understood him and took him for what he was. You weren’t disgusted with him, didn’t judge or try to teach him how to live or something… In fact, you were probably the first girl Victor managed to develop some kind of a friendly relationship. It was a new sensation for him, and he had to admit - it was quite pleasant. Even though the feelings he experienced for you weren’t just friendly.

To tell the truth, you liked Victor too, even though you realized very clearly that he had a whole lot of problems and flaws. Rumors flew fast among the hospital staff, so yes, you were aware of his adventures and his addiction. That’s why you brushed him off - being just another girl from his list totally didn’t sound cool to you. But as you got to know him, you couldn’t help but felt some sort of compassion towards him. Victor would probably never tell it out loud, but he loved his mother quite tenderly, which made you think he’s actually a better person than he considered himself to be. Plus you liked his a bit bitter sense of humor and overall he turned out to be a surprisingly nice person to talk to. You felt attracted to him in a way too, but… No. Just no. He wasn’t boyfriend material at all. And one night stands… You were just not interested in such kind of things.

At the moment you were pretty much focused on your current task - there were only a couple of days left until Christmas, and the rec room still wasn’t decorated. Your mission tonight was to fix it, and you were quite determined, even though your mood was far from being festive. But the patients deserved to feel some holiday vibes and you tried your best.

\- Whoa.  ** _It looks like Santa threw up here_** … What’s going on?

You turned to the sound of a familiar voice. Victor was leaning against the doorframe in a relaxing way and smirking at you.  He looked a bit tired, his shirt was a little creased and his hair messy as usual and you had absolutely no idea why this look seemed so ridiculously attractive to you.

\- Vic. What are you doing here? - You frowned. - Visiting hours are over ages ago, just so you know…

\- Yeah, but… I just came a bit too late today.

\- How did they let you in?

\- I asked politely, - Victor shrugged looking at you innocently. - Everyone knows me here and can be quite charming, you know.

\- Oh yeah, - you laughed. - You’re either charming or a bastard. Or both.

\- Will take it as a compliment, - he gave you another smirk. - So… What are you up to?

He approached you, examining the mess of decorations on the floor.

\- Just trying to make this hell of a place look a bit more Christmassy… Isn’t it obvious?

\- Right… Need some help, maybe? - He suggested.

\- Sure, - you smiled at him. - Why not.

\- This actually looks like a huge pile of trash, - Victor said, hunkering down and looking over some old garlands. - What should we do with all these?

\- How about untangling some lights and hanging them above the windows? Lights are cool. And then we have to dress this, - you pointed at the Christmas tree in the corner of the room. - And these paper garlands are really a bit too trashy, so fuck them, maybe.

\- Sounds like a plan. Oh hey, look, - Victor grabbed a Christmas party hat from the pile and put it on his head. - Am I a sexy Santa?

\- More like an awkward Santa’s helper, - you replied with a chuckle, handing him the set of lights. - Here you are, let’s make it work.

***

\- So umm… Any big plans for Christmas? - Victor asked after a few minutes of working in silence. - And no, I’m not asking you out, you said no and I got it, I’m not a maniac, - he added, cocking an eyebrow.

\- Oh really? - You teased. - Well, good for you. Because I’m gonna be at work.

\- Wow. That’s quite high-minded.

\- Well, actually… The extra payment I’m gonna get for this shift sounds pretty tempting as I’m a bit short of money… - You shrugged. - So yeah, I’m not that good, don’t hold your breath.

\- Better then me anyways, - he shrugged in return. - Will just probably have a drink or two in a local strip bar.

He said it in a casual way, but you had a feeling there was a bit of sadness in his tone. You suddenly realized how lonely he probably was.

\- Wanna join me here maybe? - You said jokingly, trying to sound casual as well. - You can be Santa by the way. You’re an actor after all. The old ladies are gonna be excited for sure, you’ll be a star… And maybe you’ll even get paid for that too. 

\- Oh hell, it’s so hard to resist… But I’m afraid I can’t do that… Just don’t want the old ladies to cream their pants and all that…

\- You’re mean! - You laughed, heading to the bookcase to get the box with toys for the Christmas tree. Victor followed you. The box was on the upper shelf of the bookcase so you had to get on your tiptoes to reach it.

\- Hey, need help? - Victor asked looking at your attempts.

\- No, I’m…

_“Fine”_ , you wanted to say, but the moment you grabbed the box and pulled it, you realized it was heavier than you expected. The box slipped out of your hand, a couple of toys and a cloud of sparkling confetti fell almost directly on your head. Victor’s reaction was fast. He stepped closer, his palms covering your hands to help you hold the box in place. For some reason this sudden unexpected contact made you shiver. He was a bit too close, his chest pressed against your back, and you could feel his breath on the back of your head. Your arms touched and his hands felt so warm against your skin. It was just a very brief moment, but something definitely happened. Something that made your breath catch at the sensation. Victor probably felt that too. As you turned to face him, he cleared his throat and took the box from your hands, his fingers brushing against yours.

\- Uh… Thanks, - you broke the awkward silence as he put the box on the nearby chair. You were still standing close to each other. He looked at you frowning a little. You never noticed the softness of his green eyes before.

\- You’ve got something… here, - his voice was suddenly quiet, close to a hoarse whisper when he brought his hand to your hair, removing a sparkling piece of confetti. - And here.

His fingers moved to get another sparkle stuck on the side of your neck, his eyes never leaving yours and you couldn’t take your eyes of his either. He cupped your cheek and the touch caused your skin break out with goosebumps. What happened between the two of you felt both strangely beautiful, but also uncomfortable. It had to stop…

\- Vic…

But his lips were already brushing against yours, and your heart skipped a beat surprised by such tenderness you could never expect from someone like Victor Mancini.

When you broke the kiss, he looked surprised as well. He looked like he expected a slap or an insult, something that would bring you both back to reality where Victor was not a boyfriend material and was actually a sarcastic bastard and a sex addict not used to tender feelings… But you were just staring at him unable to find right words to say.

\- Hey umm… we have to dress this tree, right? - Victor said finally with a shrug.

\- Right… yes, let’s do it, - you shook your head and let out a deep sigh. Yes. Pretend like nothing just happened. Good idea. Perfect.

\- Hey, y/n.

You lifted your eyes at him from the toys box and gave him a questioned look.

\- Actually… Maybe your Christmas suggestion is not all that bad. Maybe I could do it.

\- Really?

\- Yeah, I could make a really cool Santa… If you still want me to.

He smiled awkwardly ruffling his already messy hair. And you smiled back. He had issues. So many of them, but… Maybe he still deserved a chance?..

\- Sounds like a plan.


	4. Justin Hammer

##  _**Justin Hammer**  + 49.  **“Who ate all the advent calendar chocolates?!”**_

_1170 words; **warning:**  this one is a liiiiitle bit smutty, like very tiny bit… and still fluffy AF. Gif by me._

\- Justin? - You called out, knocking on the door of Hammer’s study. He started working on his speech for a presentation hours ago and you probably dozed off while reading in bed. You woke up after a while to find the bed next to you still empty and decided to check on him.

\- Justin, - you repeated, opening the door and entering the room. Hammer lifted his a bit tired eyes from the laptop and gave you a charming smile.

\- Oh hey, kitten. What are you doing here?

\- I was looking for you actually. Thought maybe you got kidnapped or something… Have you seen what time it is? - You said, folding your arms and shivering a little. You were wearing just your pajamas which consisted of a pair of small shorts and a tank top, and it was a bit chilly here in Justin’s study.

\- Well… No… Umm… - He looked at his watch. - Oh hell… I completely lost track of time, babe.

\- Are you still working on your speech though? - You asked. - Justin, seriously… Have some rest.

\- Yeah, it took quite long… But babe, you know that I have to be awesome at this expo, right? I won’t let Stark steal the attention this time. No way. He’s not better than me actually, he’s just… The goddamn Iron Man, you know…

\- Yes, I know, - you tried hard not to roll your eyes, but Justin’s constant battle for the fame with Tony Stark started getting on your nerves already. - But I’m pretty sure you did great job tonight, so how about some rest, maybe?

\- You’re right, sweetheart. I did good, - Hammer smiled at you again. - Just a couple more sentences, and I’m done.

\- Great, - you nodded.

As Justin turned back to his laptop, you looked around the room, waiting for him.

\- Oh hey, that’s mine! - You said, noticing a Christmas advent calendar on the edge of his table. - I’ve been looking for it everywhere!

You took the calendar and wanted to grab a candy out of it, but… The calendar turned out to be empty.

\- Um, Justin…

He lifted his eyes at you again.

\- I’m gonna ask you a really stupid question right now, but…  ** _Who ate all the advent calendar chocolates?!_**

\- Oh, honey… - He smiled at you a bit guiltily. - Seems like I’ve lost track here as well… I have no idea how it happened… It’s just… My brains needed some fuel and I just wanted to grab a couple of sweets… And then I just didn’t notice… - He let out a soft laughter. - Will you forgive me for that, kitten?..

\- You know… I’ll better go back to bed. It’s a bit cold here, - you replied, heading to the door. Of course chocolate wasn’t a big deal, but your mood was still spoiled.

\- Wait a second… Are you seriously mad at me because of that? - Hammer raised his eyebrows getting off the chair and approaching you. - You know I could buy you thousands of calendars if it’s a problem…

\- No, the sweets are not really a problem… It’s just… Sometimes I just have a feeling that you think and care only about yourself and this stupid neverending competition with Stark… And I’m definitely not that important to you, comparing to these.

Having said that you turned to leave, but Justin suddenly grabbed you by the hand.

\- Hey… y/n, what made you think so? - He looked at you frowning.

\- I don’t know, it’s just a feeling I have, - you shrugged.

\- You’re so wrong, kitten… - He brought your hand to his lips. - Let me prove it…

His lips brushed against the back of your hand and then moved further, tracing your arm down to the crease of your elbow with tender kisses. Justin Hammer was so good at these beautiful, romantic, maybe even a bit cheesy gestures… But cheesy or not, it always worked. Your heart already began to melt as he placed some sweet feathery kisses on your bare shoulder and the side of your neck… And when his free hand cupped your cheek and he finally brought his lips to yours, you didn’t stop him. The kiss was sweet and soft; this bastard knew exactly how to make you forgive him everything.

\- Come here, - he whispered against your mouth, still holding your hand and guiding you to the sofa. Gently pushing you down there he leaned in, kissing you again, this time a bit more roughly and passionately. His hands moved to your thighs stroking them up and down.

\- Did anyone tell you how sexy you look in these pajamas? - He whispered, kneeling between your legs and pushing your top a bit up to expose your belly. He kissed the soft skin around your navel and traced a line above the hem of your shorts with his tongue.

\- Well you’re the only person who saw it… - You replied, your voice already a bit shaky.

\- Good, - he smirked, yanking your shorts down together with your underwear.

What happened next made you forget about literally everything. All you could do was tugging on his soft hair, panting and gasping frantically as his lips and tongue did absolutely incredible things to you. He didn’t stop even when you went over the edge, just slowed down a little, humming as if he tasted something delicious, and it didn’t take long for you to explode again, trembling and arching your back, whispering his name.

\- Was it good? - Justin smirked, looking up at you. He was so full of himself, even at this moment. Of course he knew the answer was yes, but he loved to ask such things just to hear how amazing he was once again. But this time he didn’t let you reply.

\- Look, honey… - He looked at you suddenly quite seriously. - I’m really very competitive. We both are - me and Stark. And yes, I can get a bit carried away with it sometimes, but it doesn’t mean you’re less important. Trust me. So… Will you forgive me the chocolates, huh?..

Placing his chin on your thigh like a cat, he gave a soft and innocent look, and you just couldn’t help reaching out to stroke his fluffy hair. Damn! It was unfair, of course you were a cuddly mess now, after a couple of mindblowing orgasms… But actually… Whatever. It was Christmas time after all…

\- Probably I will, - you smirked back at him. - But I totally don’t mind if you try to convince me some more once we finally get to bed…

\- Deal, - he replied, placing a soft kiss on your thigh, and his smile was way sweeter than all Christmas chocolates in the world, you had to admit.


	5. Zaphod Beeblebrox

##  _**Zaphod Beeblebrox**  + 33.  **“One normal Christmas, that’s all I wanted”**_

_1418 words, fluff, no warnings. Gifs by me :)_

  


It’s been the second year since The Heart of Gold starship has become your new home, and Zaphod, Ford, Arthur and Trillian – your crazy, eccentric, driving you mad at times, but still something quite close to your family. Despite everything, you couldn’t say you didn’t like your new life here. It had some complications for sure, though it was anything but boring. You always had this sense of adventure inside you, and you enjoyed it most of the time even when the things went wrong.

However there were times you really missed your quiet life on the Earth.

Mostly some little casual things. And this sensation intensified usually on holidays. Probably the best thing on the Earth in your opinion was Christmas. But… Hanging around the Galaxy and celebrate it turned out to be quite complicated. Last year on this day you were on the run, followed by some angry Vogon ship for some reason (probably the reason was Zaphod messing up with the navigation device  _again_ ), so your main goal was actually to survive. Totally not the right Christmas mood. And this year… This year it wasn’t much better.

You talked to Arthur and Trill, and together you decided to have a traditional Christmas party… Well, the most traditional it could be on board the spaceship. Zaphod and Ford got all excited, what could go wrong? Ha. You underestimated your freaky new “family” indeed.

It all started with an idiotic bet that Ford and Arthur would be able to drink the same amount of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster as Zaphod. So when you and Trill entered the room ready to party – all you could find there were three bodies with different levels of unconsciousness. Obviously talking to any of them was useless at this point so with a deep sigh you decided to tell them all you think about it tomorrow, and for now it was time for boys to go to bed.

First you helped Ford to reach his quarters, then it was Arthur’s turn. You two almost had to carry him because he totally was the less prepared for Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster effects (not surprising though). You got him to his quarters and Trillian decided to stay there to take care of him. Their relationship seemed cute to you to be honest, even though they hardly admitted it. So you just nodded and left your friends alone, heading back to that place on the ship which served as a living room for you.

You found Zaphod there half sitting half lying leaning against the counter. Oh hell… You almost forgot about him. Though he didn’t look completely unconscious, so you decided you could handle it.

\- Hey, Mr. President, - you said sarcastically, approaching him. - Let’s get you to that sofa so that you could get some sleep, you drunk ass.

Zaphod grinned at you stupidly as you placed his arm over your shoulder and grabbed is waist.

\- Okay, ready? Go.

With your help, Zaphod made a step… and then collapsed on the floor, almost tugging you with him.

\- Ugrhhhhh, Beeblebrox! - you groaned through clenched teeth. -  Get up! Hey, do you hear me?

Oh great. Seemed like he’s been unconscious as well.

With a deep annoyed sigh, mentally cursing the day you’ve met this bastard, you gripped him under his armpits, and pulled him closer to the nearest wall. You leaned his body against it and sat on the floor next to him completely exhausted.

\- Gosh you’re heavy, - you murmured to yourself.

\- Rude.

You turned to him and saw his second head appeared, staring at you with a bit injured look.

\- Wait a second… - You raised your eyebrows puzzled. - You share the same body… How come he’s passed out, - you pointed at the head number one. - and you’re not?

\- No idea, - he let out a bit silly laughter, but then became suddenly gloomy.

\- Umm… you okay? - you asked.

\- Yeah yeah, okay, as always, - head number two rolled its eyes. - You see, that’s unfair, you know, - he suddenly continued.

\- What?

\- Look, I might be not the greatest part of his brain, but ughhhh… I’m so sick of being shut up all the time!.. Why is he always in charge, not me? Huh?..

\- Um… I don’t know… - you shrugged, totally confused. – I really don’t know much about… About how Zaphod Beeblebrox actually works. But well… I’m sorry about that.

\- A kiss would make me feel better actually… - Head number two tried to smirk seductively, but the grin happened to be a bit weird and silly, as he moved a bit towards you.

\- Ew, no way! - You winced. - Do you know how much you’ve drunk? You smell like a goddamn alcohol factory… Both of you I guess.

\- I… had some ch… chewing gum in my pocket somewhere… - he started, but suddenly his body shook and head number two disappeared.

\- Ugh… What did I miss? - Head number one smiled awkwardly, clearing its throat.

\- Nothing special. Just seemed like you’ve passed out and your second part didn’t.

\- Oh. Yeah well… I guess Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster affects different parts on my brain differently, - he replied. - You know, I invented it… But it’s so good it can surprise even me, - he chuckled.

\- Brilliant, - you muttered, rolling your eyes.

\- Hey… what’s the matter, baby doll?.. - Zaphod frowned.

\- Nothing, Zaphod, really. It’s just…  ** _One normal Christmas, that’s all I wanted_** … - You replied bitterly.

\- Oh! Almost forgot! - He suddenly exclaimed, jumping on his feet. For a second you thought he was gonna collapse again, but he managed to stand. - I’ve got a surprise for you! Let’s go!

\- Wait… Are you sure you can walk?..

\- Of course I can! Come on! - he grabbed you by the hand, pulling you up from the floor.

You followed Zaphod along the corridors.

\- Had to make it in a secret room… so that you couldn’t find it. It’s a surprise, after all, - he smirked and pushed some particular place on the wall. The wall moved to the side, revealing a door.

\- Welcome! - said the door cheerfully, as you both entered. It was dark inside, but the next moment Zaphod snapped his fingers and you gasped in surprise and awe.

What you saw in front of you was a big Christmas tree. No, it wasn’t big. It was  ** _huge_**  and looked very real. It even smelled like a real tree. It was decorated buy loads of stuff. There were classic toys and some pretty weird stuff that looked like tools or gearwheels or some strange artifacts you’ve never seen before… And lights. There were a lot of beautiful sparking lights. You’ve never seen anything like this before.

\- Oh my… Zaphod… - You struggled to find the words, but you couldn’t, so you made a move towards him and enclosed him into tight impulsive hug that made him now gasp in surprise.

\- Whoaaa!.. You like it, do you, y/n? - He beamed as you looked up at him.  

\- It’s so… Incredibly beautiful, Zaphod!.. Thank you… - You whispered almost about to cry.

\- That’s great! Wow… I guess the second part of my brain can give pretty good ideas sometimes… - Zaphod smirked again.

\- Wait… What did you say?.. Your second part? - You frowned.

\- Well… Yeah. I mean we made it together, but the idea came from him, - he shrugged.

\- Can I see him for a second?..

\- Are you sure?..

\- Please.

Zaphod slightly rolled his eyes and his body tensed a little, shuddering as head number two appeared.

\- Huh?.. - it made, blinking, as you cupped his cheeks and pressed your lips to his, kissing him.

\- Thank you, - you smiled. - It was the most beautiful thing ever. Do you feel better now, by the way?

\- Oh zark yeah! - Head number two winked at you, disappearing.

\- Alright, I’m back, - Zaphod brought his hand to his golden locks, fixing his hair. - All good?

\- Yeah… - You smiled. - All great.

\- So um… how do you guys say on the Earth?… - Zaphod hugged you by the shoulders, pulling closer to him. -  _Carry… Barry…_

-  _Merry Christmas_ , - you replied softly, hugging him back. - Merry Christmas, Zaphod.


End file.
